Backport fatal connection attempt handling to 0.216.x

[jackyzha0]

Why

@replit/river@0.219.0 includes the fatal connection-attempt fix, but repl-it-web cannot consume it yet because pid2 still uses the 0.216.x River/@sinclair/typebox service type surface. This backports the same retry decision behavior to the 0.216.x maintenance branch.

What changed

• Pass the initial connection failure error into onConnectingFailed.
• Let onConnectingFailed delete the no-connection session and stop reconnecting when isFatalConnectionError returns true.
• Bump package metadata to 0.216.3.
• Add a regression test for fatal initial connection attempts.

Test plan

• direnv exec . npm exec -- vitest run __tests__/negative.test.ts
• direnv exec . npm run check
• direnv exec . npm exec -- vitest run