From a04063f1e258de9a63dcc5e5770b55f41d970cb2 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Luis Villa Date: Mon, 21 Mar 2016 12:42:11 -0700 Subject: [PATCH 1/2] have permission to -> may; on condition that have permission to -> may: simpler, clearer, consistent with the rest of the license provided that -> on condition that: avoid the Jacobsen v. Katzer problem by being explicit that this is a condition (see also http://www.adamsdrafting.com/provided-that/, Manual of Style for Contract Drafting 13.547). --- COPYING.TGPPL-v2-draft.rst | 4 ++-- 1 file changed, 2 insertions(+), 2 deletions(-) diff --git a/COPYING.TGPPL-v2-draft.rst b/COPYING.TGPPL-v2-draft.rst index 9d4b639..050b137 100644 --- a/COPYING.TGPPL-v2-draft.rst +++ b/COPYING.TGPPL-v2-draft.rst @@ -30,11 +30,11 @@ limited period of time. Grant of Additional Permission: When conveying a work based on the Program under sections 5 or 6 of - GPLv3, you have permission to delay compliance with the requirements + GPLv3, you may delay compliance with the requirements of those sections, including the requirement to license the entire work as a whole under GPLv3 and the requirement to convey Corresponding Source under GPLv3, for a period of up to 12 months - from the time of your conveying the work, provided that you grant this same + from the time of your conveying the work, on condition that you grant this same Exception to your downstream recipients when licensing your work under GPLv3 following the period of delay. From b5d6256d40625ff6530790c056e3935fa8cfe24f Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Luis Villa Date: Tue, 30 Aug 2016 14:37:57 -0700 Subject: [PATCH 2/2] Breaking up the One Big Sentence After attempting to further parse this One Big Sentence today, I realized it should really be broken up into two sentences to improve readability. Here is a first attempt at such a revision. Key q: how to refer to the first sentence in the second? I went with "this additional permission", but one could say: - "This permission to delay compliance is..." very precise, but perhaps unnecessarily wordy (since no other permission could plausibly be referred to by "this additional permission"). - "This Exception is": a little recursive? --- COPYING.TGPPL-v2-draft.rst | 8 +++++--- 1 file changed, 5 insertions(+), 3 deletions(-) diff --git a/COPYING.TGPPL-v2-draft.rst b/COPYING.TGPPL-v2-draft.rst index 050b137..5ff08c3 100644 --- a/COPYING.TGPPL-v2-draft.rst +++ b/COPYING.TGPPL-v2-draft.rst @@ -34,8 +34,10 @@ Grant of Additional Permission: of those sections, including the requirement to license the entire work as a whole under GPLv3 and the requirement to convey Corresponding Source under GPLv3, for a period of up to 12 months - from the time of your conveying the work, on condition that you grant this same - Exception to your downstream recipients when licensing your work - under GPLv3 following the period of delay. + from the time of your conveying the work. + + This additional permission is granted on the condition that you grant + this same Exception to your downstream recipients when licensing + your work under GPLv3 following the period of delay.