I don't know what to say other than I feel like shit.

[birdfoott]

And this shit keeps piling up on other shit. And I do it to myself. I don't think I'm going to make it to an old age. Certainly I won't be happily retired. One day I'll snap for good and become homeless or dead. I don't know how I can live with myself for the next decade, much less multiple decades.

I don't know why I'm here writing this. I don't know why I expect to feel better from it. I don't know why I keep doing this shit.

[birdfoott]

I guess I don't see a reason to stop. I don't think we're rewarded for being good people, so what's the point of holding yourself to a higher standard.