Arg-12
The following appeared in a memorandum from a dean at Omega University. “Fifteen years ago, Omega University implemented a new procedure that encouraged students to evaluate the teaching effectiveness of all their professors. Since that time, Omega professors have begun to assign higher grades in their classes, and overall student grade averages at Omega have risen by thirty percent. Potential employers apparently believe the grades at Omega are inflated; this would explain why Omega graduates have not been as successful at getting jobs as have graduates from nearby Alpha University. To enable its graduates to secure better jobs, Omega University should now terminate student evaluation of professors.”
In this memo Omega University’s dean points out that Omega graduates are less successful in getting jobs than Alpha University graduates, despite the fact that during the past 15 years the overall grade average of Omega students has risen by 30%. The dean indicates that during the past 15 years Omega has encouraged its students to evaluate the effectiveness of their professors. The dean reasons that student evaluations led professors to increase grades, which has, in turn, created a perception among employers that the grades of Omega graduates are not actually representative of their real quality. The dean concludes that to enable Omega graduates enjoy better job placement, the university must terminate its professor-evaluation procedure. This argument is unconvincing because it contains several flaws in logic.
One problem with the argument is that the current evaluation process is not a mandatory one and the dean doesn’t state how many people participated. The dean provides no evidence about the number of students or percentage of the study body who participate in the procedure. Without such evidence, drawing a link between the evaluation of professors and their grading trends is not possible. Without such a link, an audience cannot be expected to accept that the termination of the above-mentioned evaluation would, in fact, have any effect on grading.
The argument is based on the assumption that the grade-average increase is somehow related to the evaluation procedure rather than some other phenomenon. The dean ignores a host of other possible explanations for the increase. For example, a trend at Omega toward higher admission standards, or higher quality instruction or facilities could have produced the increased grades. Without ruling out this or other possible explanations for the grade-average increase, the dean cannot expect to convince an audience that by terminating the evaluation procedure Omega would curb its perceived grade inflation, let alone help its graduates get jobs.
Even if the evaluation procedure has resulted in grade inflation at Omega, the dean’s claim that grade inflation explains why Omega graduates are less successful than Alpha graduates in getting jobs is unjustified. The dean overlooks a myriad of other possible reasons for Omega’s comparatively poor job-placement record. Perhaps Omega’s career services are inadequate. Perhaps Omega’s curriculum does not prepare students for the job market as effectively as Alpha’s. In short, without the true results of a comparative analysis, there is no way we can determine that this is why graduates have been less successfully placed.
Even if the dean can prove the assumptions, his assertion that Omega must terminate its evaluation procedure to enable its graduates to find better jobs is still unwarranted. First, the dean ignores other ways that Omega could potentially increase its job-placement record. For example, by improving its public relations or career-counseling services, the university may be able to gain a better reputation and deliver better potential employees. Second, the dean seems to equate “more” jobs with “better” jobs—there is no analysis of the jobs that Alpha graduates were placed in. In other words, even if more Omega graduates were able to find jobs as a result of the dean’s recommended course of action, the kinds of jobs Omega graduates find would not necessarily be better ones.
In sum, the dean’s argument is not persuasive. To strengthen the argument, the dean must provide a clear link between grade average, the professor-evaluation procedure and employer perception. Evidence that might establish this link could include: the percentage of Omega students participating in the evaluation procedure, Omega’s admission standards and quality of education, and Omega’s emphasis on job training and career preparation.
- In this memo … points out that …. The dean indicates that…. The dean reasons that ….（引出原文为支持其结论所引用的一系列的荒谬论据。）The dean concludes that ….（标志性的Argument开头段引出原文结论的语言表达形式。）This argument is unconvincing because it contains several flaws in logic.（标志性的指出文章错误的语言表达。整体开头段是标准的C—E—F的语言和逻辑模版体系。）
- One problem with the argument is that … and the dean doesn’t state …. The dean provides no evidence about …. Without such evidence, drawing a link between … and … is not possible. Without such a link, an audience cannot be expected to accept that ….（标志性的调查类错误的语言和逻辑模版体系。）
- The argument is based on the assumption that … is somehow related to … rather than some other phenomenon. The dean ignores a host of other possible explanations for …. For example, …. Without ruling out this or other possible explanations for …, the dean cannot expect to convince an audience that ….（标志性的忽略他因错误的语言和逻辑模版体系。）
- Even if …, the dean’s claim that … is unjustified. The dean overlooks a myriad of other possible reasons for …. Perhaps …. Perhaps ….In short, without the true results of a comparative analysis, there is no way we can determine that this is why ….（标志性的忽略他因错误的语言和逻辑模版体系。）
- Even if the dean can prove the assumptions, his assertion that … is still unwarranted. First, the dean ignores other ways that … could ….For example, …. Second, the dean seems to equate … with … —there is no analysis of …. In other words, even if … as a result of the dean’s recommended course of action, ….（标志性的因果类错误的语言和逻辑模版体系。）
- In sum, the dean’s argument is not persuasive. To strengthen the argument, the dean must provide a clear link between …. Evidence that might establish this link could include: ….（标志性的Argument结尾段的Conclusion—Suggestion体系的语言和逻辑模版体系。）
本文的写作体现出了非常严谨的开头段—正文段1、2、3、4—结尾段的逻辑体系：（开头段）In this memo … points out that ….（正文段1）One problem with the argument is that ….（正文段2）The argument is based on the assumption that … is somehow related to … rather than some other phenomenon.（正文段3）Even if …, the dean’s claim that … is unjustified.（正文段4）Even if the dean can prove the assumptions, his assertion that … is still unwarranted.（结尾段）In sum, the dean’s argument is not persuasive.特别值得一提的是本文正文第四段的写作。该段首先通过Even if the dean can prove the assumptions, his assertion that Omega must terminate its evaluation procedure to enable its graduates to find better jobs is still unwarranted.一句严谨地指出原文中出现的因果类错误。接下来，段落通过First, the dean ignores other ways that Omega could potentially increase its job-placement record. For example, by improving its public relations or career-counseling services, the university may be able to gain a better reputation and deliver better potential employees. Second, the dean seems to equate “more” jobs with “better” jobs—there is no analysis of the jobs that Alpha graduates were placed in. In other words, even if more Omega graduates were able to find jobs as a result of the dean’s recommended course of action, the kinds of jobs Omega graduates find would not necessarily be better ones.递进地对该错误进行深入分析，充分展现出了正文段严密的逻辑思路。