diff --git a/packages/core/src/modloader.ts b/packages/core/src/modloader.ts
index 58fc1b4..7424948 100644
--- a/packages/core/src/modloader.ts
+++ b/packages/core/src/modloader.ts
@@ -56,7 +56,8 @@ export async function boot(): Promise<void> {
 
   let virtualPackages = new Map<ModID, semver.SemVer>()
     .set('crosscode', gameVersion)
-    .set('ccloader', modloaderMetadata.version);
+    .set('ccloader', modloaderMetadata.version)
+    .set('Simplify', new semver.SemVer('2.14.2'));
   if (typeof process !== 'undefined') {
     virtualPackages.set('nw', new semver.SemVer(process.versions.nw!));
   }
@@ -178,6 +179,9 @@ export async function boot(): Promise<void> {
   console.log("stage 'poststart' reached!");
   await executeStage(loadedMods, 'poststart');
 
+  // NOTE: LEGACY CCLOADER2 EVENT
+  document.body.dispatchEvent(new Event('modsLoaded', { bubbles: true }));
+
   activeDelegateFn();
   console.log('crosscode with mods is now fully loaded!');
 }
@@ -300,6 +304,20 @@ async function loadModMetadata(baseDirectory: string): Promise<Mod | null> {
     } else {
       manifestData = manifestData as Manifest;
       manifestValidator.validate(manifestData);
+
+      // NOTE: During the migration period of legacy mods to the new format,
+      // their `package.json`s were converted to `ccmod.json`. The problem is
+      // that apparently nobody involved in this process (even the ones who
+      // implemented this detail) didn't remember that in the new format, paths
+      // are assumed to be within `assets/`. So, what happened? The `assets`
+      // array from `package.json` was copied 1:1 to `ccmod.json`, meaning that
+      // there are now `ccmod.json`s with paths in `assets` that start with
+      // `assets/`. This is resolved exclusively for legacy manifests
+      // (obviously) by the `convertFromLegacy` call in the `if` block above,
+      // but not for `ccmod.json`s that were incorrectly migrated. Instead of
+      // going through the hassle of getting those mods updated *again*, I'll
+      // just fix it once and for all.
+      manifestData.assets = manifestData.assets?.map((e) => e.replace(/^assets\//, ''));
     }
   } catch (err) {
     if (utils.errorHasMessage(err)) {
diff --git a/packages/runtime/src/_main.ts b/packages/runtime/src/_main.ts
index ae9e781..f8f2b17 100644
--- a/packages/runtime/src/_main.ts
+++ b/packages/runtime/src/_main.ts
@@ -33,6 +33,9 @@ export default class RuntimeModMainClass implements modloader.Mod.PluginClass {
       moduleCache,
       resources,
     });
+
+    // There's probably an issue with this being a non-awaited import.
+    import('./fixes/ccloader2-polyfill.js');
   }
 
   public onImpactInit(): void {
diff --git a/packages/runtime/src/fixes/ccloader2-polyfill.ts b/packages/runtime/src/fixes/ccloader2-polyfill.ts
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..e2d4a43
--- /dev/null
+++ b/packages/runtime/src/fixes/ccloader2-polyfill.ts
@@ -0,0 +1,103 @@
+/* eslint-disable consistent-return */
+// This may be one of the worst pieces of this codebase. Please don't judge too heavily!
+
+import semver from '@ccloader3/common/vendor-libs/semver';
+import type { LocalizedString } from 'ultimate-crosscode-typedefs/file-types/mod-manifest';
+
+interface LegacyMod {
+  baseDirectory: string;
+  name: LocalizedString;
+  displayName: LocalizedString;
+}
+
+const Plugin = class Plugin {
+  public preload(): void {}
+  public postload(): void {}
+  public prestart(): void {}
+  public main(): void {}
+};
+
+// The de-facto Simplify Compat Layer
+// <https://github.com/CCDirectLink/CCLoader/blob/0b23512543bf85ef21757b36492f991c03a16ef7/assets/mods/simplify/mod.js>
+const _simplify = {
+  version: '2.14.2',
+  updateHandlers: [] as Array<() => void>,
+
+  registerUpdate(handler?: () => void) {
+    if (handler && typeof handler === 'function') {
+      this.updateHandlers.push(handler);
+    }
+  },
+  // technically never called by us, but let's keep it in just to be sure.
+  fireUpdate() {
+    for (const handler of this.updateHandlers) {
+      handler();
+    }
+  },
+
+  getMod(name: string): LegacyMod | undefined {
+    const mod = modloader.loadedMods.get(name);
+    if (!mod) return;
+
+    return {
+      baseDirectory: mod.baseDirectory,
+      name: mod.id,
+      displayName: mod.manifest.title || mod.id,
+    };
+  },
+
+  // seriously? :harold:
+  jumpHigh() {
+    ig.game.playerEntity.doJump(185, 16, 100);
+  },
+};
+
+// For some reason this was just an alias to `window`????
+const cc = window;
+const simplify = new Proxy(_simplify, {
+  get(target, p) {
+    // This is honestly just vile
+    const prop = target[p as keyof typeof _simplify];
+    p = String(p);
+
+    // Should it ever occur that I've forgotten something in the compat layer, let the user know.
+    if (!prop) {
+      console.warn(new Error(`Couldn't find '${p}' in Simplify compat layer. Please report!`));
+      return;
+    }
+
+    console.debug(new Error(`Simplify property '${p}' requested. This is deprecated.`));
+    return prop;
+  },
+});
+
+Object.assign(window, {
+  cc,
+  simplify,
+  Plugin,
+  semver,
+
+  versions: Array.from(modloader.installedMods.values()).reduce<Record<string, string>>(
+    (acc, mod) => {
+      if (!mod.version) {
+        console.debug('Mod without a version detected in construction of window.versions');
+        return acc;
+      }
+      acc[mod.id] = mod.version.toString();
+      return acc;
+    },
+    {},
+  ),
+  activeMods: [...modloader.loadedMods.values()],
+  inactiveMods: [...modloader.installedMods.values()].filter(
+    (mod) => !modloader.modDataStorage.isModEnabled(mod.id),
+  ),
+});
+
+// For some reason these were distinct events despite the fact that they fire
+// right after eachother. After the `main` stage ran, `modsLoaded` was
+// dispatched, while Simplify was already listening for it, causing it to
+// trigger immediately. Strange decision to even include `simplifyInitialized`.
+document.body.addEventListener('modsLoaded', () => {
+  document.body.dispatchEvent(new Event('simplifyInitialized', { bubbles: true }));
+});